tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3523017437463911622024-03-12T19:30:59.415-05:00Mother of the Freakin' YearMother of the Freakin' Yearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07147191051517534633noreply@blogger.comBlogger161125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-352301743746391162.post-57512651942714767342009-05-03T21:00:00.001-05:002009-05-03T21:01:46.085-05:00GrannyToday at the grocery store a sweet little baby patted me on the back in the checkout line. I turned around to say hi and her mother said, "Oh, sorry! You look just like her grandma from the back." <br /><br />W.T.F.<br /><br />Jeez.Mother of the Freakin' Yearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07147191051517534633noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-352301743746391162.post-14301272449688051312009-02-16T19:44:00.002-06:002009-02-16T19:52:10.715-06:00SorryI have been failing miserably at blogging. I blame it on Facebook. And moving. And work. But now I am back. Do do what? Why, to complain, of course! I swear I will come on here to report happiness, too. Like I am on week 2 of going from walking to jogging! So far I have done very little jogging, but I am taking it superslow in the hopes of avoiding the shin splints that always eventually force me back to walking.<br /><br />Valentine's Day<br />I was sososo annoyed with Tim. I mean, I am not a super high maintenance type of girl. I do not need or expect lavish gifts or a big deal to be made on 2-14. However, I do think mentioning the day at all would be nice. Instead, we make it to one o'colckish when he says, "Yeah, so I failed on the Valentine's gift." Blahblah. No, I am not mad about not getting a gift, but honestly - no "Happy Vaentine's Day!" or "I love you?" <br /><br />Then yes, we have sex. It wasn't bad sex per se, but I am still peeved and that always translates. As he gets up and strolls to the bathroom he utters the words I will leave you with for today:<br /><br />"Yeah, sorry that didn't work out for you."Mother of the Freakin' Yearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07147191051517534633noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-352301743746391162.post-52904750356102067532009-01-26T16:55:00.003-06:002009-01-26T17:00:27.440-06:00Oil and WaterI am listening to <span style="font-style:italic;">Foreskin's Lament</span> while I pack and there have been so many great quotes but not having the actual paper book in my hands is causing me to quickly forget all of them. So I paused it and ran over here to type this gem:<br /><br />My family and I are like oil and water...if oil made water depressed and angry and want to kill itself.<br /><br />This is not necessarily true for me and MY family (although they make me want to pull my hair out sometimes), but an argument can be made for this describing my relationship with certain "other" people's parents...Mother of the Freakin' Yearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07147191051517534633noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-352301743746391162.post-18783066020115285172009-01-21T21:52:00.003-06:002009-01-21T21:58:08.858-06:00Reverse Sex AppealSo the other day I was wearing my sports bra (the pullover kind) while I was packing up the house. I kept thinking that I seemed very very boobalicious. Even the iPod I usually dropped into the abyss of my cleavage when I didn't have pockets was softly nestled between jiggly boobies. All day long I was pouring forth from the bra...I literally had to scoop them back in (I now scoop as opposed to the way I used to just sort of place the bra over the boobs). I showed Tim and then had to endure him sneaking up on me all day while I had my headphones on and poking me in the butt. When I was finally getting undressed to shower that night I checked it out one last time in the mirror. Damn! How did I ever work out in this? Then I found out the answer: I had the bra on backwards. All day. Because I am a genius.Mother of the Freakin' Yearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07147191051517534633noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-352301743746391162.post-79004108657750005532009-01-10T10:05:00.002-06:002009-01-10T10:11:44.442-06:00Too Much HealthIs it possible to make yourself sick being too healthy? Apparently.<br /><br />I was so good the last 2 days - exercising, eating well, vitamins, B12, honey...and today is day THREE off of Diet Coke. I still have the withdrawal headache. <br /><br />Yesterday my friend and library co-conspirator ML brought her juicer to school so we could try to have a fresh juice pick-me-up when we got tired. So we had Oprah's green drink mid-morning and another veggie fruit juice in the afternoon (everything we could find). They were both not so bad! Until I spent all of yesterday evening puking my guts out. <br /><br />My body is probably freaking out at the complete 180. But the worst part of it was that the juices look the same coming out as they did going in.<br /><br />You're welcome.Mother of the Freakin' Yearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07147191051517534633noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-352301743746391162.post-16031513967995977122009-01-03T16:38:00.002-06:002009-01-03T16:58:58.317-06:00Rrrrr!Well, I'm coming here to vent about my husband AGAIN. First let me say that we do not fight all the time, it is just that when we do I feel the need to vent here.<br /><br />If you have been to our house (any of our houses) you know that we have always had an "office" that has really been Tim's toy room plus a computer. He has all of his toys and posters on the walls and on every available space. That has always been fine with me. But now I am attempting to run a small business in addition to my day job. We have only one computer and for a year I have been working in a space that is literally 4 feet by 4 feet (I measured). So now when we move we are losing the guest room and using the third bedroom as the "office."<br /><br />Shockingly, I dais that I need more room to work...there isn't even space on the wall here for me to have a calendar. So he agreed that I could add a table to the side. Then today he starts diagramming where my corner will be and where all of his toys, etc. will go. I say that I would like the space on the walls around my "area" and he wants to know why I need it? Why would it matter if his giant Marilyn Manson poster took up the whole freaking wall where I work? Really? I can really not understand how he doesn't understand. So he gives me the whole, "Fine. Do whatever you want. I don't care." Lots of sarcasm and eye-rolling and then shut-down. His typical response to anything. I am so annoyed with the whole production and with the fact that I have to feel guilty about him losing his precious play space ("The ONLY thing I am for," says he.) so that I can have space to sit in front of the computer and work for hours once I get back from job number one where I have been working for 9 hours. I refuse to feel like this is a selfish request. <br /><br />Rrrr!Mother of the Freakin' Yearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07147191051517534633noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-352301743746391162.post-73916932381268179192009-01-02T00:46:00.003-06:002009-01-02T00:48:23.108-06:00Bijini<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://inventorspot.com/files/images/2_5.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 389px;" src="http://inventorspot.com/files/images/2_5.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br />You know you want a <a href="http://www.sannas.jp/store/produto-en.php?id=100536">pair</a>.<br /><br />Wahahahaha!Mother of the Freakin' Yearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07147191051517534633noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-352301743746391162.post-17319214266793257092009-01-01T23:13:00.002-06:002009-01-01T23:51:49.580-06:00Here We Go AgainI have been avoiding thinking about resolutions all day long. BUT I get very uptight over any superstitions people tell me about (my friend once gave me a dictionary of superstitions and I pretty much had a panic attack every time I picked it up) I know I need to address them in the next 45 minutes.<br /><br />I have resolved to lose weight EVERY YEAR of my life that I can remember making resolutions. And here comes the fun part...each December 31st I have been FATTER than the year before save the one year I had lost 64 pounds (which I promptly put back on plus some). I remember seeing a particular number on the scale as a junior and thinking, "If anyone knew I weighed this much I would die." Deep breath before this next sentence...That number was EIGHTY-SIX pounds ago. <br /><br />I had to stop typing for awhile to digest that.<br /><br />I am making the resolution again this year. This time because I feel terrible. I can't sit on the floor with Greyson without being uncomfortable. My legs fall asleep all the time and my hands fall asleep at night. I refuse to see anyone I know from more than five years ago. It if seriously fucking up my sex life not to want to be touched at all.<br /><br />Yes, I eat when I am depressed. But I also just like the way food tastes, goddamn it. How am I supposed to change that? Teach my body not to love cheeseburgers? It can't be done. My plan is to eat those food faaaaar less often and it reasonable portions.<br /><br />Okay, enough of this - but I am entering two weight loss challenges that start next week and if I WIN both of them I will rake in almost $2000. That is some serious incentive. So I expect you guys to help me as friends. By that I mean if you offer me bad food I will poke you in the eye.<br /><br />I also resolve to have more sex. I know you really wanted to know that, but I am serious! It puts a strain on my marriage when it never happens. I even got Tim a "sex" page-a-day calendar but unfortunately it turned out to be more of a gag thing than a real one.<br /><br />I resolve to attempt to look a little nicer for my own sake. In addition to being a fatass, whatever hormonal issue is causing my hair to fall out is also causing acne and a fucking mustache. I seriously must have been a bitch in another life. So when I get disgusted with myself it gets even worse because I don't have anything to wear and then why should I shave my legs and maybe I won't go out after all and so on. Although I'm not really talking about makeup specifically, I will try to cute it up a little bit more and see if it makes me feel better.<br /><br />I resolve to be less negative. I guess a start would be saying that I resolve to be more positive. When I get really pissed off or worked up I get this nasty feeling. There is one person in my life that pisses me off so badly that I get a sort of rash and a really red face and I get hot and I get heartburn and I can literally feel yuckiness flowing through my veins when I get worked up over her insanity. My blood pressure is up just typing that. I do NOT like that feeling. I will attempt to not get worked up about her. Although I can't avoid her totally, I will let her totally fucking craziness (No! Stop.stop.) roll off of me. Because who cares. Jeez, I got carried away. She was only an example. I will fake it 'til I make it - just like with the sex (boo-yah!). I don't mean faking orgasms- that seems like too much work to me. If you are reading this I am saying now that I do not want you to tell me what someone else said about me. I can not handle it. But this year I will act like nothing that people say bothers me and thus it will not bother me.<br /><br />I will (again) attempt to not be so messy. Or at least to clean up more. It stresses me out and since Tim is neater than I am I know it drives him crazy. But mostly I don't want G getting used to crap being strewn everywhere. It all comes down to laziness. I am a lazy person. I will work on that this year.<br /><br />I resolve to work harder to maintain friendships. I reallyreally value the friendships I have but I am terrible about dropping off the face of the earth for awhile and then wondering why so-and-so doesn't love me any more.<br /><br />I resolve to be wiser with money. We are already off on the right foot today by swallowing our pride and downsizing to a condo in a condo neighborhood full of old people farther away that has no yard for Greyson to play in to save money. It will go straight to credit cards and outstanding medical bills. Our debt causes me so much stress that sometimes I can barely function. Don't want to get into it because I am being positive. This will be the year that we get back on our feet financially. <br /><br />I feel like instead of an uplifting resolution post this has turned into a pathetic pity party. So I will list my resolutions in a positive way and be done with it with minutes to spare.<br /><br />1. I resolve to lose weight.<br />2. I resolve to have more sex.<br />3. I resolve to take pride in my appearance.<br />4. I resolve to be more positive.<br />5. I resolve to clean more often.<br />6. I resolve to be a good friend.<br />7. I resolve to be in control of my finances.<br /><br />2009 will be a good year, I know it.Mother of the Freakin' Yearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07147191051517534633noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-352301743746391162.post-32306601550953835362008-12-30T21:28:00.002-06:002008-12-30T21:49:53.819-06:00The Underwear Built for TwoThis evening I have been entertaining myself by looking at hilarious items for sale on the intrawebz. I can not stop laughing. I can not reveal to you my sources, because I plan to spread them out. (That's what she said.) <br /><br />So I was looking at <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0016398SU?ie=UTF8&tag=americaninven-20&linkCode=xm2&camp=1789&creativeASIN=B0016398SU">Fundies</a> (the underwear built for two) on Amazon when my eye was drawn to the "Customers who bought this item also purchased" area. There I encountered hilariosity.<br /><br />The items ranged from things that obviously went with the Fundies purchase to things that disturbed me. I could not stop thinking that these items would be used in sex play...but how?<br /><br />Allow me to explain:<br /><br />Sex Dice<br />Condom Variety Pack<br />Sexy Board Games<br />Blindfold<br />Sex Scratchers: 100 Sexy Lottery Tickets<br />Furry Metal Handcuffs<br />Books like <span style="font-style:italic;">Tickle His Pickle</span> and <span style="font-style:italic;">The Low Down on Going Down</span><br />satin sheets<br />various "massagers"<br /><br />so far pretty normal items to go with Fundies<br /><br /><br />towels (hmm)<br />2G SD cards<br /><br />getting a little more interesting<br /><br /><br />then come the head-scratcher movie selections<br /><br />Seven (sexy how?)<br />Supertroopers (Who wants a mustache ride?)<br />Footloose (this was particularly confusing to me until I remembered the abnormal hugeness of Kevin Bacon's dong. Coincidence?)<br /><br /><br />now it gets weird<br /><br />Fart Pen: Pull the finger for fart noise (a real turn-on)<br />Slingshot Flying Monkey with scream sound (I'm not sure what to say about this)<br />Caphalon Contemporary Non-stick 10-inch omelette pan (for spanking, surely)<br /><br /><br />Then it just turns sick with:<br /><br />Leapfrog Counting Maracas<br /><br />I don't want to even speculate on how those maracas were put into use.<br /><br /><br />Methinks this checking out what people also bought will be a fun new pastime of mine!<br /><br /><br />But I almost forgot one of my favorite parts: If you buy the Fundies, you can get a FREE 10x magnification mirror WITH suction cup! Just allow your imagination to run free with that situation. Yuck.<br /><br /><br />P.S. When I went back to get the link it had different and mostly not as funny "things people also viewed"...maybe because I logged out for fear of what Amazon will now recommend to me?? There was one product that scared me: a 1 oz bottle of "Liquid Virgin."Mother of the Freakin' Yearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07147191051517534633noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-352301743746391162.post-72168801523171423142008-12-27T15:31:00.000-06:002008-12-27T15:33:18.381-06:00Honest to DogI just woke up from a nap, reached over to the side of my nightstand where I usually keep my glasses, slipped on my sunglasses, stretched, opened my eyes, and thought:<br /><br />Holy Shit! How late did I sleep?!?!Mother of the Freakin' Yearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07147191051517534633noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-352301743746391162.post-15935754715719628292008-11-29T23:14:00.003-06:002008-11-30T00:11:49.594-06:00SurrealI just saw <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0383028/">Synecdoche, New York</a> with my friend Allison and I have many thoughts and feelings about the film. I'm not going to get into them on this post, but I will say that I was reading other people's responses to the movie just now and I can't even understand what <span style="font-style:italic;">they</span> are trying to say.<br /><br />After the movie I went over to Barnes and Noble for a little browsing. I guess the movie affected me even more than I thought because everything seemed so fucked up and staged. Honestly I felt a little like I was on drugs. The best thing about feeling that way without actually being on drugs was the fact that I could observe the weirdness and feel a little freaked out about it without actually getting too scared and panicking.<br /><br />Cases in point:<br /><br />As I walk up to the door, a man rushes out holding an infant carrier in one hand and pulling a screaming toddler with the other. He looks at me pleadingly for a second too long and gives me the willies.<br /><br />When I get inside, the first thing I see is Extremely Tall and Skinny Man with Coke Bottle Glasses and a Stringy Black Skullet. His black t-shirt and black jeans are faded almost to gray and he is walking a few paces in each direction looking frantically for something. He seems sinister somehow and I give him wide berth.<br /><br />At this point I am becoming aware of the weird vibe and know it is from the movie. I go with it and think, "This could be an elaborate set and I am the only audience member."<br /><br />I turn the corner and bump into a girl walking swiftly toward the escalator. Behind her is a small older Korean woman I assume to be her grandmother. And she appears to have no arms. Armless Korean Grandmother, of course! I sneak back around the displays and upon a second look I see that she has clasped her hands behind her back and draped her cardigan over her shoulders so that the sweater arms hang limply over her hidden ones.<br /><br />I start to wonder if maybe I should be taking notes and search in my purse for a notebook, which I don't find. I head back to look through the memoir section and they have moved it since I was last there which confuses me. I wonder if the set director could possibly have made this big of a mistake and the thought causes me to feel a little bit cross-eyed, like the time in high school where a guy gave me some pills of his mothers that didn't make me feel messed up but made my eyes cross unless I smacked myself on the side of the head.<br /><br />I start to browse at the table in the middle with games on either side. I watch the Sullen High School Girl Working at Bookstore and think she is overdoing it a bit. Hair pseudo-haphazardly pinned up with about twenty clips, black argyle kneesocks and clunky black shoes. Short bangs and a thick layer of burgundy lipstick...you know the type. Next year at this time there will be a lip ring right in the center of her pouty lower lip.<br /><br />My attention back on the games, I am joined by Teenage Couple. She is a small, spunky Asian girl and he is a tall, pimply white boy. He is hunched over and I am not sure whether it is his normal posture or whether it is so that he can comfortably keep his hand in the back pocket of her jeans. She starts to read to him from the back of a game that has something to do with seeing how dirty your mind may be. "I can only get laid once. The question is whether I came first." She cuts her eyes at him and blushes as she reads and even though the answer is horribly obvious he clears his throat and blushes back, mumbling, "I don't know." She presses him for a guess, putting her hand up on his chest and he shuffles his feet and coughs some more. All this with his hand still securely in her pocket.<br /><br />I walk around the fiction section for a minute and notice how the hushed chatter and soft laughter totally seems piped in over the speakers. People seem to start talking when I get close and stop when I walk away.<br /><br />Riding up the escalator, I wonder if I am supposed to notice the musical ch-ch-chhhh ch-ch-chhhh of the stairs. It is way quieter upstairs and straight ahead all four seats are full of the people who always seem to get the good chairs. Three people not even reading but staring off into space and one person sleeping. All three of the awake people seem to be staring at the same point in the center of the square of chairs, which seems especially strange.<br /><br />I notice a tall, busty red-headed lady browsing in psychology and decide to spy on her. She is Woman Browsing Self Help Section. So cliche. She's middle-aged, pretty under too much makeup, wearing a pink sweater that clashes terribly with her overly orange dyed hair. She is ever so slightly pudgy and tugs at her trousers after lifting up on tiptoe to see a title. I can't tell whether she gives off a meek vibe or whether I am putting that mojo on her myself.<br /><br />I head around the shelf to the craft section and bump into Nerdy College Guy Working in Bookstore. I knock a book off the cart he is pushing and he actually says "Argh." I apologize but he just pushes his glasses up his nose and looks at the floor before squeaking away, his badge clanging against the cart.<br /><br />Over in the craft section I start to notice Loud Talking Asshole Guys somewhere out of my sight. The first thing I pick up on is, "Just like that Prop 8 bullshit in Cali." Guy 2 remarks, "Isn't it so awesome how that worked out? They totally thought they had it - that all the African Americans and minorities who voted for Obama would be on their side. But they got fucked - haha!"<br /><br />Now I get up off the floor and move to the other side of the aisle so I can see them. I have the feeling that they can't actually see me, so I openly stare. One guy is standing, untucked button-down shirt with open collar sticking out from his blazer jacket. Her has trendy glasses and one of those spiky hairdos meant to distract from male pattern hair loss. The second man is short, sits with his ass on a display (pushing books all out of whack) and wears those god-awful leather mules that some men think look good. Black hair sprouts out of all his toe-knuckles and his toenails are almost perfectly half-yellow - like nail fungus finally cured and growing out or perhaps red nail polish left on too long. I lose interest in what they are saying once they move on to the how's business part of the conversation and all I hear is the inappropriate volume of their exchange. <br /><br />Once I'm outside I stand for awhile looking in the windows at people. When it's dark outside it really does seem staged. Since you walk down stairs to go in, the view from outside the glass lets you see within each row - above the stage. People seem even more animated without sound. Two old ladies make HUGE amazed faces at each other, laugh, and sock each other on the arms. A man talks to a woman while she looks at a book on the shelf, completely ignoring him. Outcast Teenager sits on the floor in the graphic novel section with white earbuds in, furiously sketching what I can see (from my vantage point) are Manga girls with large breasts, wet eyes, and tiny waists - the exact opposite of her. <br /><br />The light given off by streetlights always seems weird to me but walking to my car felt so strange that I started to think I was walking funny...what should I do with my arms? <br /><br />When I got home I tried explaining this all to Tim but I don't think it made tons of sense, as I'm sure it doesn't here, either. <br /><br />Weird movie, weird night. But both were fun.<br /><br />***Please excuse my punctuation - I am too tired to go back and check it...***Mother of the Freakin' Yearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07147191051517534633noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-352301743746391162.post-61097101157225453092008-11-28T20:57:00.001-06:002008-11-28T20:58:21.348-06:00Is It So Wrong...that when your toddler finds a condom wrapper under your bed you tell him that it's a candy wrapper?<br /><br />I have a feeling this one may come back to bite me.Mother of the Freakin' Yearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07147191051517534633noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-352301743746391162.post-32717139869258542142008-11-26T22:19:00.002-06:002008-11-26T22:25:04.707-06:00Holy HellSometimes when we have the volume turned all the way down on our computer speakers we hear scary sounding men reading scripture through them. It always happens late at night. It is happening RIGHT NOW! It is so so quiet that I can't tell exactly what he's saying. I put the speaker up to my ear and I could hear "and he said unto him," vengeance," and "his wrath." It is so scary. This time the man sounds like the preacher from Carnivale. What in the hell is going on? Can one of my sciency friends please give me a logical explanation?Mother of the Freakin' Yearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07147191051517534633noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-352301743746391162.post-88722492315481271312008-11-26T21:59:00.002-06:002008-11-26T22:02:18.085-06:00Capital h, little aThis lady probably my grandmothers age said, "This Thanksgiving I'm going to my daughter's house and my grandchildren and I are going to play capital w, little i, little i!" For some reason this was so funny to me that not only did I snarf my Diet Coke, but I also laughed far louder and longer than was appropriate. I am so rude.Mother of the Freakin' Yearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07147191051517534633noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-352301743746391162.post-63169433307790022282008-11-16T11:17:00.001-06:002008-11-16T11:22:44.991-06:00Election NightThis is so super late, I know.<br /><br />Christen and I went downtown on election night to get the vibe of the people. It was really cool being down there even though we were in line when they called the election. We ran over to the first bar we saw that had tv and sound and sat to watch. When Obama came on to speak there was much hugging and crying. Looking out the window we could see random people skipping down the sidewalk and people hugging everywhere. Cars honked as they rolled up and down the street. It was awesome! - thanks Christen!<br /><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/melanie_in_texas/3034595215/" title="Christen Blog 110408 by melanie_in_texas, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3003/3034595215_ccf0fbe2da_o.jpg" width="750" height="500" alt="Christen Blog 110408" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/melanie_in_texas/3034595333/" title="Mel and Christen Blog 110408 by melanie_in_texas, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3016/3034595333_8008b8d084_o.jpg" width="750" height="500" alt="Mel and Christen Blog 110408" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/melanie_in_texas/3035433462/" title="Christen Clapping Blog 110408 by melanie_in_texas, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3178/3035433462_ec034ea90e_o.jpg" width="500" height="750" alt="Christen Clapping Blog 110408" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/melanie_in_texas/3034595849/" title="Christen Crying Blog 110408 by melanie_in_texas, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3221/3034595849_1fb6c31604_o.jpg" width="500" height="750" alt="Christen Crying Blog 110408" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/melanie_in_texas/3035433216/" title="Booth Blog 110408 by melanie_in_texas, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3148/3035433216_ceb5be2e1d_o.jpg" width="500" height="750" alt="Booth Blog 110408" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/melanie_in_texas/3035433000/" title="Arms Around Blog 110408 by melanie_in_texas, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3174/3035433000_44a57baabf_o.jpg" width="500" height="750" alt="Arms Around Blog 110408" /></a>Mother of the Freakin' Yearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07147191051517534633noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-352301743746391162.post-56579239862267601332008-11-15T16:55:00.004-06:002008-11-15T16:59:18.726-06:00Tim Farted on My PillowAccording to <em>Superbad</em>, this is likely the way I got F'N PINK EYE.<br /><br />I haven't suffered through this since I was little. I thought I had a torn contact but no. It is horrible trying not to touch my eyes or Greyson at all. <br /><br />Damn you, Tim.<br /><br />*******<br />Jeezum Crow! I accidentally had this posted on the family blog that my grandma reads! Oops.<br />*******<br /><br />AND NOW <strong>STREP</strong>.<br /><br />Christen, bathe yourself and Aidan in antibacterial soap. Sorry to expose but we had an awesome time at the protest.<br /><br />First antibiotics since pre-preggo and unmarried coming right up!Mother of the Freakin' Yearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07147191051517534633noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-352301743746391162.post-14835895197390337722008-11-12T16:29:00.002-06:002008-11-12T16:43:42.572-06:00Carving Out Some TimeFor some reason I was suddenly inspired to look into local volunteer opportunities. I found tons of cool sites that hook you up with people who need volunteers.<br /><br />I have limited time but was thinking I could carve out 1-2 hours after school once or twice a week so I searched with that in mind. <br /><br />Here's one that I found that I wanted to share:<br /><a href="http://www.volunteersolutions.org/lauthtx/org/opp/10279957894.html">Patient Care Volunteer -A*Med Community Hospice</a><br /><br />We need volunteers to provide companionship to our patients and/or families in Travis, Williamson, and Bastrop counties. The schedule is flexible and depends upon you and the patient/family/facility that you agree to be assigned. You may run errands, sit with patient, read to patient, walk their dog, spend time with their children or just be present.<br /><br /><br />I was thinking about the nurses and staff when my Papa was in hospice and how amazing they were. I meant to write them a thank you after he passed away but I guess I never really thought about it again.<br /><br /><br />Another cool one I saw that seems more temporary was<br /><a href="http://nfg.volunteermatch.org/results/opp_detail.jsp?oppid=432892">Austin/Travis County Homeless Count/Survey</a><br /><br />“Stand up and be counted” 2009 Point in Time Count and Survey OFFICIAL VOLUNTEER CALL What is the point-in-time count?<br /><br />The point in time count occurs every two years and is a census of all homeless persons in Travis County. Cities nationwide will be participating in similar counts this year and reporting the data to the Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD). We will also be conducting a voluntary survey in conjunction with the count this year. In 2007, there were 80 volunteers participating in the count and 2,148 unsheltered homeless individuals counted. <br /><br />Why is it important?<br />The homeless count and survey will help identify who is homeless in Travis County and provide us with a baseline number of homeless individuals. The data collected will be useful on many levels:<br /><br />· It will give Travis County leverage when applying for federal or private aid to maintain and/or improve service delivery to the homeless population.<br /><br />· The count can be used to measure progress towards ending chronic homelessness by 2014. <br /><br />· It will increase public awareness of the homeless population in Travis County.<br /><br />· It will allow agencies to improve their ability to plan and implement effective services for homeless persons.<br /><br />****************<br /><br />Anyhoo there were tons of links to one-time events such as walks/fundraisers.<br /><br />I Googled "volunteer opportunities".<br /><br />I'm not posting this to say oh look at me I'm great or oh you should be doing this. It just seems like I think about volunteering and I think about it and think about it but it never happens. Maybe announcing it to the universe (my blog readers, you are my universe!) will push me to make it happen. I emailed the Hospice so maybe it's working already.<br /><br />PMSing and feeling emotional!!Mother of the Freakin' Yearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07147191051517534633noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-352301743746391162.post-67275534225363028522008-11-11T18:27:00.002-06:002008-11-11T18:28:57.411-06:00BeatboxaliciousThis girl ROCKS MY WORLD.<br /><br />I know I've said before that I love beatboxing, but I will say it again: I love beatboxing.<br /><br />Is she awesome or what?<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Ju9yfgUyPFw&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Ju9yfgUyPFw&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>Mother of the Freakin' Yearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07147191051517534633noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-352301743746391162.post-46182265375289815552008-11-11T11:00:00.002-06:002008-11-11T11:04:06.664-06:00BrushaBrushaBrushaGreyson's new thing to do while I brush his teeth is to brush in my cleavage with his old toothbrush. He is convinced there is "poo-poo in there." It's so nice being reminded twice a day that your boobs are so unperky and nonapartfromeachother that your toddler is sure they're an ass.<br />Sigh.<br />;)Mother of the Freakin' Yearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07147191051517534633noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-352301743746391162.post-2287114373236564852008-11-08T15:27:00.003-06:002008-11-08T15:40:36.862-06:00So MuchI am reading this book called <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Man-Ceiling-Discoveries-Steve-Rasnic/dp/0786948582/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1226180360&sr=1-1">The Man on the Ceiling</a> and it is unlike anything I've ever read before. Aside from the fact that I am having a hard time sorting out my feelings about the book, there are many things the authors have said that I have wanted to write about. I'll do that later, but for now something they said seems appropriate for today.<br /><br />I can't find the actual passage because I forgot to mark it, but it says something to the effect that she "looked at him as if she couldn't believe he was her child." I have been feeling like this a lot lately. And in context it was meant as being incredulous that such an amazing person is possible. G has had another big language jump in the last two weeks and more often than not when his is conversing with me I find myself smiling dumbly at him because he is just more than I can even take in. Amazing. I honestly can't believe it sometimes - not only that he is my son (and this has nothing to do with biology - in fact the son in the book is adopted - and everything to do with the fact that we are mother and son to each other), but even that such an unbelievable little person can even exist. <br /><br />It makes me dizzy.Mother of the Freakin' Yearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07147191051517534633noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-352301743746391162.post-14796579345014825982008-11-06T21:54:00.002-06:002008-11-06T21:59:14.503-06:00Barometric PressureI swear the barometric pressure causes craziness. Every time I have an insane day I think, "Oh it must be a full moon." Adn it never is but it IS always during a change in weather.<br /><br />Today was awful. Super crazy morning, pissed off teacher, war with parent via email, G cracks head open and needs stitches, stuck in traffic forever, mess up sleeve in shirt I'm making THREE times, break needle on sewing machine, screw up wrap-n-mat I'm making almost beyond hope, can't even eat a jelly bean without dropping it on the floor and then it turns out to be a nasty flavor and I have to spit it out.<br /><br />GOOD NIGHT!<br /><br />Tomorrow will be better, I am absolutely sure of it...Mother of the Freakin' Yearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07147191051517534633noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-352301743746391162.post-81046986532473535362008-11-04T19:30:00.001-06:002008-11-04T19:31:41.396-06:00One More ThingBefore I go:<br /><br />The mock election at my elementary school:<br />563 votes cast<br /><br />Popular Vote:<br />Obama 352<br />McCain 199<br />Barr 12<br /><br />Electoral Votes (27 classrooms, 1 vote each)<br />Obama 25<br />McCain 2<br /><br />From the mouths of babes...Mother of the Freakin' Yearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07147191051517534633noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-352301743746391162.post-79192035342296505622008-11-04T18:34:00.001-06:002008-11-04T18:36:10.536-06:00Steppin' Out!EXCITING! My friend Christen is coming to get me and we're going downtown, baby. Election watch parties here we come!<br /><br />I can't wait to be among the masses (brain saying:pleasepleaseplease).<br /><br />See you on the flip side...Mother of the Freakin' Yearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07147191051517534633noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-352301743746391162.post-60304869799100747932008-11-04T17:32:00.002-06:002008-11-04T17:39:03.393-06:00Butterflies!I am so nervous. Nail-biting already over here. Eight years and four years ago I got very emotionally involoved and was totally crushed. Last time I was in shock for awhile, I think. I have been so gun shy this time. I support who I support but I honestly have been holding back on the hope a little. <br /><br />But I feel it coming on, creeping up. <br /><br />The hope. <br /><br />Here's the old video that helped spark the tiny flame I've had burning in my heart all along but have been afraid to feed. Worth another watch on this night.<br /><br />As my friend Anj said...come on Universe! <br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/jjXyqcx-mYY&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/jjXyqcx-mYY&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />And I couldn't love you any more than I already do even if you were an Obama supporter Jenni! ;)Mother of the Freakin' Yearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07147191051517534633noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-352301743746391162.post-69477786114271902462008-11-03T20:31:00.002-06:002008-11-03T20:35:37.156-06:00Vote for G!I know there eight, but I had a million and this is as far as I can narrow them down!<br /><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/melanie_in_texas/3000753393/" title="IMG_2189 by melanie_in_texas, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3284/3000753393_9661bd69c6_o.jpg" width="400" height="600" alt="IMG_2189" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/melanie_in_texas/3001591068/" title="IMG_2199 by melanie_in_texas, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3167/3001591068_b4ee605ea8_o.jpg" width="400" height="600" alt="IMG_2199" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/melanie_in_texas/3000754217/" title="IMG_2259 by melanie_in_texas, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3240/3000754217_9ba304a47c_o.jpg" width="480" height="600" alt="IMG_2259" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/melanie_in_texas/3000753697/" title="IMG_2211 by melanie_in_texas, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3212/3000753697_316428a3af_o.jpg" width="400" height="600" alt="IMG_2211" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/melanie_in_texas/3000753849/" title="IMG_2212 by melanie_in_texas, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3005/3000753849_c1c193a1f6_o.jpg" width="400" height="600" alt="IMG_2212" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/melanie_in_texas/3000754085/" title="IMG_2253 by melanie_in_texas, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3235/3000754085_8f05dd33d2_o.jpg" width="600" height="400" alt="IMG_2253" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/melanie_in_texas/3000753949/" title="IMG_2240 by melanie_in_texas, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3067/3000753949_31ac38b8a3_o.jpg" width="400" height="600" alt="IMG_2240" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/melanie_in_texas/3001591828/" title="IMG_2273 by melanie_in_texas, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3154/3001591828_0894ab2889_o.jpg" width="400" height="600" alt="IMG_2273" /></a>Mother of the Freakin' Yearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07147191051517534633noreply@blogger.com6