The Sky is Falling

The sky is falling at work today. I want to crawl under my desk and hide.

This Little Piggy

Me: And what kind of animal goes oink oink?
G: Mommy!

Sigh. Starting Weight Watchers on Monday, at least.

Eye of the Beholder

It was meet the teacher and pick up supply time this morning. I was out in the hall greeting students and families all morning. It was so great. So, I get a big hug from a little girl going into first grade this year. As they walk away, I hear her mother say, "She seems nice." And the little girl says, "Yeah, and she's ALLLLLWAYS happy!" And you know what? It made me happy.
:)

Weirdness

I had such a weird situation happen. There's a guy I know who is pretty flirty with all the girls, but in a sort of non-threatening, older guy and married, but still sometimes a little uncomfortable kind of way. With all girls. So he asks me how I am and we visit. Then he asks me about Tim. Then he randomly says, "Well, you know me, I've got my damn wife...over there...you know. I don't want to mess around on her. I'm just that not that kind of guy. I mean I shouldn't mess around with someone else because I'm married. I need to stay together with her because of the kids..." I have no idea where this is going since it was totally out of the blue. So I nod and say uh-huh, yeah, etc. He says, "But I'm a MAN, is what I'm saying. And there are all these PEACHES around here! You know?" At this point I'm getting a little uncomfortable because I'm not exactly sure how to respond or how he is expecting me to react. So I say, "Well, you're not that kind of guy. I always tell Tim that I'm not the kind of girl who can forgive and move on if he cheats, so if he's gonna do it, he better be sure because that's it." Silence. He says, "It happened to me (his ex-wife cheated), I know! I shouldn't do it. But it's like walking through an orchard around here!" Now he's sort of walking away and I am out of things to say so I say something to the effect of, "Hang in there!" Totally weird. And pretty awkward. Not sure what that was all about or if I should have handled it differently.

***ETA: When I day "girls", I mean women. Especially women younger than him, but cougars also.***

Best Summer Pic

Is this not the most awesome picture ever? I so wish I had taken it, but alas it was taken by my good friend Andrea (Om Mami). She has been chosen as one of the 20 (out of 400!) finalists in the summer love photo contest on 5 Minutes for Mom.

If you have a sec, pop on over to the voting site and give it a quick look-see. I think you will find that hers is the BEST but your vote is up to you. But hers is the best. Did I mention my friend will win $500 if she gets the most votes? Hey, if I had thought that I had one that was better, I would have entered it - it's $500!! ;) But I don't have one better. Let's help a mama out - GO ANDREA (Om Mami) (#19)!!!

Soooooo...

Started Effexor XR yesterday. Hopefully this will help some. Yesterday and today I felt a little dizzy/light-headed and really jittery. Hopefully it's a temporary side effect because it is driving me nuts. 3-4 weeks to work, so I will try not to judge before then. How will I know if I'm less crazy? Fingers crossed.

Different

It's like Greyson knows something is different (his first full week back at daycare) and he has turned on the charm in the morning big time. He was super huggy and kissy this morning. He asked for me to color with him and I had to say no, that it was time to go to school. Total pang. But I know that this is right for us. Not only do we need the money, but I have found that I am the type of mother who does better with our setup. Maybe he's not being extra cute, maybe it just seems that way since I only got to see him for 45 minutes this morning. One of the things that I love is that when I am home from work the time we spend together feels so much more concentrated. We don't have time to annoy each other.

Every thing G says has been making me laugh lately. Last night we took a bath together and as always he quizzed me on parts:
G: What's that?
Me: That's Mommy's hair.
G: (Knocks head on toilet attempting to look under his penis for hair)
Me: You don't have hair there yet. You will get it when you are a teenager.
G: Huh?
Me: You'll have hair there too in about 12 years.
G:Where's you penis?
Me: Mommy is a girl and girls don't have penises, remember?
G: (gives penis a yank)
Me: But Daddy has a penis.
G: (laughs) Daddy no have penis!

And now Manga Tim

I think it kinda does look like him...although I think he has a fuller beard now and not just the goatee. But the ones they had looked like pedophile beards.
See Jon LaJoie:


Wahaha! Another excuse for Jon!

Okay, okay, back to work. Jeez, you slavedrivers!!

Manga Me

You may say that I am wasting time, but to you I say that I am making this to put on my library homepage. The kids will like it.
I think it's cool!
Make your own at http://www.faceyourmanga.com

Yay work!

I'm back at school this morning (Hey, I got here early so I could do computer stuff first, okay!?) and feeling much more positive. I have air and everything! The gods of whining did not look nicely on my previous post. I was struck down with what must have been food poisoning around 11 and was hugging the toilet every 10-15 minutes until 7ish. I seriously did not make it more than 15 minutes the whole day. So I went home sick on my first day back at work - what a loser! Every time I get really awfully sick like that I swear (imagine me clutching my stomach and moaning) I will NEVER take my health for granted ever ever again! I look at those bastards on television skipping around without a thought of vomiting. I even narrow my eyes at Tim as he dares to cook something stinky without ever once running to the bathroom. I will rejoice in a nausea-free life! I swear, just let this end!
So now as I nibble a couple animal crackers and tenderly sip my Gatorade,I am grateful to be upright and at work. Yay work!

Ho-hum

Well, I am back at school and this is the first of what is sure to be many many whiny posts. I came into the library and everything had been moved and rearranged into crazy places. All of the heavy furniture and 30 or so boxes of books that we have moved to one area in the back for the warehouse to pic up is all over the library. Someone seriously dragged broken furniture back to the place where it stood for the previous 20 years. Then I open the door to my little office and the entire thing is STUFFED full of everything from the back rooms. Stuffed. I got here at 7:45 and just finished moving it all the hell out. And did I mention there is no air? I am pouring sweat. It is dripping off of my fingers into the crevices between the keys. I was all ready to pretend to be cheerful and happy - gonna try the "fake it 'til you make it" thing. But I am here to say that it is going to be much much harder than I thought. I swore I was going to be more positive this year and I am off to go try to do that.

One of Those

Erika sent this to me and I really do like these even though hardly anyone ever replies to me. So I thought I'd try it on the blog and see if I could get you to repost your answers

Welcome to the 2008 edition of getting to know your friends.

Change all the answers so they apply to you, and then send this to your friends including the person
who sent it to you. The theory is that you will learn a lot of little things
about your friends that you might not have known.

1. What time did you get up this morning? 6:00 blech Mornings make me want to vomit. And don't even THINK about asking me for sex in the morning

2. Diamonds or Pearls? I guess diamonds, but I prefer the cheap stuff. And I LOVE moonstone...it's my favorite and I have major superstitions related to moonstones. I could not be without one for so so long - I thought that something terrible would happen. And typing this kind of makes me want to go put one on right now.

3. What 2 things do you always have with you? A pocketful of receipts and other crap and I can seriously not think of anything else because I lose everything. About 60% of things come back to me

4. What is your favorite TV show(s)? 30 Rock (TINA FEY - my BFF! Hopefully she doesn't read this blog or I will be expecting a restraining order soon), The Office, Dexter, House (Hugh Laurie - yum), loved Six Feet Under and Oz...I am blanking since it's rerun season

5. What do you usually have for breakfast? Usually skip it and then pig out later when starving...I like to sleep until the last possible moment. But when I do make it on a school day I have eggs and cheese toast.

6. What is your favorite book? OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOhhhh Man. Any memoir by David Sedaris. The Harry Potter books. I just finished Breaking Dawn and LOVED it. Really too many to name but I can't wait to see other people's picks - I need a great book to read!

7. What is your middle name? Renee. With an accent over the second e if you please

8. What food do you dislike? Seafood. I can eat crab and crawfish (once!) if need be, but the whole shit just freaks me out. Texture issues

9. What is your favorite CD? Hmmmmmmmm Right now it may still be the Once Soundtrack. But I totally listen to music based on my mood so it varies. I am really liking The Raconteurs right now. A lot.

10. What type of car do you drive? Black Jeep Compass - woohoo! My new (to me) ride after the Malibu pooped out for good

11. Favorite sandwich? Tomato Basil Fresh Mozz with pesto mmmmmmmmmm

12. What characteristic do you despise? I really can't abide bullies - male or female. And manipulators who kill you with kindness because they get me every damn time. I am a total spineless sucker

13. Favorite item of clothing? t-shirt fo sho

14. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go? India

15. What color is your bathroom? Oh my god. Remember we rent. Some horrifying mauve shiny wallpaper. Ick.

16. Favorite brand of clothing? If I was skinny and rich I would wear nothing but Anthropologie, but as it is I guess Target...

17. Where would you like retire to? Crested Butte

18. What was your most recent memorable birthday? When I was 5 I had ponies and a sleepover...it's really one of the only birthdays I remember...It was great.

19. Furthest place you are sending this? Gee, I don't know...who is reading this and thinks they are farthest away?

21. Who do you least expect to repost this? Bonnie

22. Person you expect to repost first? Tanya, but I'd really like to read everyone's

23. Favorite saying? Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. -Groucho Marx

24. When is your birthday? 3/11/79

25. Are you a morning person or a night person? I guess night? More like evening but for the love of god not mornings

26. What is your shoe size? 8. A WIDE 8.

27. Pets? Mojo Jojo the chihuahua Kali and Dinky the cats And the rats apparently living in the garage nice.

28. What did you want to be when you were little? An actress. I was the kid who practiced the Oscar speech in front of the mirror. Sadly, I still harbor some hope there. But unless casting directors visit playgroups or elementary school libraries looking for chubby balding 30 year olds with slight lisps I am fucked.

29. How are you today? All over the place. Had a boring morning followed by a good hang out with buds and now feel inexplicably bummed

30. What is your favorite candy? Reeses cups. Anything peanut buttery. I will go with Erika here. And I like my Reeses cups right out of the freezer with a tall glass of milk.

31. What is your favorite flower? Dahlia Lovelove them but haven't had one since my wedding. Sigh. Come ON Tim, jeez.

32. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to? I can not think of one damn thing...isn't that sad?

33. What is the last thing you ate? Um, a nacho at happy hour?

34. What are you listening to right now? Silence.

35. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Indigo

36. How is the weather right now? hot as hell but it's nice out now since it's late

37. Last person you spoke to on the phone? tim to tell him that Andrea had to buy me beer since my ID was in his wallet

38. Do you like the person who sent this to you? I certainly do. Wish she lived closer

39. Favorite soft drink? Diet Coke. But I SWEAR I will be weaning soon. F'n crack.

40. Favorite restaurant? Torchy's Tacos...mmmm...the democrat....mmmm

41. Hair color? Brown - what's left of it

42. Sibling(s). younger brother and sister

43. Favorite day of the year? Halloween

44. What was your favorite toy as a child? Lite Brite for me too Erika! Even after I was electrocuted by it while playing with it directly after getting out of the bathtub.

45. Summer or winter? Damn it, where is spring? Okay, fall for football but not for Ragweed, Spring for my b-day, g's b-day, spring break and weather. Summer for no school and hanging out with friends more, but not for weather. And winter for skiing which I NEVER get to do anymore...

46. Hugs or kisses? Hugs! I am veryvery huggy but would rather have no hug than a lame side hug or pat. But I do love kisses from my boys

47. Chocolate or Vanilla? Vanilla... but come on! At least give me some Oreos in there! I really like Rainbow sherbert best, but only from Baskin Robbins

48. Do you want your friends to post back? Yes...PLEASE!!

49. When was the last time you cried? This afternoon while listening to a recap of this NPR story in my car. I cried the first time I heard it, too. Listen to it if you dare, it will break your heart. Warning: it's devastating.

50. What is under your bed? boxes of pictures and notes from high school/college

51. Who is the friend you have had the longest? Hmmm...I think Marissa reads this, right Rizz?

52. Favorite smell? Burt's Bees Buttermilk Lotion on G. But then Romance deodorant (cologne is too stong for me now) on Tim makes me want to rip my clothes off

53. What are you afraid of? Many many things. Most of which are out of my control. I guess not being loved/like is a big personal one for me. I can't think too much about the big stuff or I start to flip out.

54. Plain, butter or salted popcorn? Not really into popcorn except when I was preggo

55. How many keys on your key ring? Ha...like 10?? I can't get rid of them! I don't know what they all are, you say? Well the minute I toss it, I will need it!

56. How many years at your current job? This will be my second year at my school

57. Favorite day of the week? Saturday. totally. Would maybe be Sunday since Tim is always home but I let the looming Monday ruin it for me during the school year.

58. How many towns have you lived in? 4 Dallas until 3ish, Gainesville Fl until 7ish, Fort Worth and Austin since then

59. Do you make friends easily? Yes. I think I can get along with mostly everyone. But I tend to try too hard sometimes. And when I get in a funk I don't too well keeping in touch and I worry that they won't take me back. Tim thinks I set my friend standards too high for the next tier of friends...

60. How many people will you be sending this to? i have no clue

Whew!
********
What in the hell. Spell check tells me it's sherbet and not sherbert. I just checked the BR website and it's fucking "sherbet." I have gone 29 1/2 years of my life with various sherberts being my favorite ice cream and I NEVER EVER knew it was sherbet. This is really shocking. And now you think I'm some kind of back woods freak. Am I the only one who's been ordering "sherbert" my whole life. I think I'm having some sort of existential crisis over this.

Show Me Your Genitals

Made you look!!

Because I think this is the funniest thing I have ever seen I will post it here even though my last post was Jon Lajoie, too. I promise to post at least one non-Jon thing before I post my favs of his commericals.
Is there really someone out there who doesn't think this is funny? Stand up for yourself...I am curious.
I can not stand it it cracks me up so bad.
Who would have thought you'd be singing "Genitali-UH!" all day?
:)

I'll Try This!

I think I will take this advice! Thanks Jon LaJoie!



More about Jon later, as he is a genius.