Tuesday, October 14, 2008

I Feel Pretty...

HA! Yeah, right.

I went to bed with SOAKING wet hair last night because there are zero clean towels in the house. I did rub my head with the t-shirt I had just taken off. So when I woke up this morning my hair was literally standing straight up. I never knew hair could actually do that - I have had long hair for so long. Head in the sink before heading off to work, class-E. Result: Frizzball hair and multiple cowlicks.

No clean bras (shocker) so had to wear way too small, no support lace bra that allows my boobage to pour out of the top, bottom, and sides.

I tend to walk hard on my heels which combined with my sad frizzy do and the unfortunate peasant top I selected today caused me to imagine myself as a sad old washerwoman, heavy breasts gently swaying to and fro, hither and yon. Sort of like Charlie's mother in the Gene Wilder Willy Wonka. But boobier and with a hump. And possibly a hairy mole on my cheek. Oh wait, I have one of those already. I can feel my nungas bouncing into my stomach and sadly the sides of my arms as I stomp down the hall. Nipples should not align with elbows. I guess it's time for me to start shopping for a sturdy Playtex eighteen hour typr bra with 16 hooks in the back. And possibly boning. In the meantime I guess I should go home and get my bucket and lye, lift my giant breasts to rest on the washboard, and get to scrubbing those towels and bras.

3 comments:

iMother2.0 said...

you always make me laugh! i'm sure it wasn't that bad, but just feeling like that is enough.

i wasn't planning on taking Mia to swim lessons this evening, but Daryl was in a mood, so to spite him...I went as is. bleach stained shirt, wet hair in clip, unbrushed teeth, hairy legs, and omg I forgot the underwear! i felt disgusting. did this have any affect on him at all? no. we even went out to dinner.

i looked like a mum that just didn't care anymore.

Bonnie said...

This one had my rolling in the aisles.

Stephanie said...

Or you end up going with a sports bra instead and have sweaty unaboob and angry nipples. I feel you on the hair thing though. If my hair isn't blown dry, I might as well leave it dirty and oily. It looks the same.