Rock Bottom?

Although I am not any fatter than I was a month ago and am still in fact lighter than I was at this time last year, two things happened in the last two days that suck. Yesterday I jumped on the couch with Greyson and broke it. Really embarrassing for me even though no one saw it but me and G. Then today - the very next day - I learned way over in the office chair and broke the arm right off...it was screwed into the bottom of the chair and thus cracked the whole shit in half. What the hell. Seriously. So yes, universe, I realize I am too fat. Now lay the fuck off.